Bump & Beyond | Birth Preferences

Giving birth is a personal experience unique to you and your baby. Every labor and birth is different in its own way, and our goal is to keep mother and baby safe and healthy. Preparing for birth can be challenging with so many variables and unknowns, but as a nurse educator, I can help you and your family better understand what to expect during the birth of your child.

Attend a Childbirth Education Class

A fellow nurse gave me this advice when I was preparing for childbirth: “Prepare for the birth you want and prepare for the birth you don’t want even more.” When you are pregnant and preparing to give birth, it is important to familiarize yourself and your support person with the labor and birthing process. To do this, I recommend taking a childbirth class at the facility where you plan to deliver. Informed patient care can significantly improve your delivery experience, and I encourage you to take the opportunity to educate yourself on childbirth before delivery.

At Infirmary Health, childbirth classes are available monthly on each of our hospital campuses and are free to you as a patient. View the full schedule of classes here, and get signed up today.

Create a birth plan

Many patients also like to create a birth plan. It’s important to consider a birth plan as a list of preferences. Your plan can be used as a communication tool to let your healthcare team know what preferences you have for your labor and birth. Our goal is for you to receive excellent care and a have safe birth experience. It’s important to note that there are aspects of labor and birth that are out of your healthcare team’s control and deviation from your plan or preferences may be required to keep you and your baby safe.

Planning for labor and birth is tricky because we don’t know exactly what will happen. We wish we did! Going into your labor and birth experience, I want to challenge you to have flexible plans. For example:

“I have the goal of going into labor on my own, but I understand that in some cases inductions are medically necessary for me or baby.”

When we make flexible plans, it doesn’t feel like things didn’t go according to plan. Avoid absolutes! For example:

“I absolutely will not get any pain medication.” vs “I would like to try without pain medication, but I may change my mind based on how I feel.”

Include your doctor in your planning! Your doctor will have the best understanding of your pregnancy and any needs you may have. Some interventions may be safe for one person and not advised for another based on their unique pregnancy. Your obstetrician can guide you when you discuss birth preferences on what would or would not be recommended for you.

Set realistic expectations

As a parent, you picture what milestones and events in your kids' lives will be like from birth and beyond. For example, on my daughter’s first Halloween, I had done a lot to prepare and put together a family costume I was excited about. But when the day rolled around, my daughter wasn’t a fan of wearing the costume. We managed to get a few photos but ultimately took it off after 30 minutes. In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t a big deal. I was disappointed that night, though, because the experience wasn’t what I had pictured. My feeling of disappointment was valid.

Even with flexible plans, birth can present challenges you weren’t prepared for. Your healthcare team wants what is best for your health and your baby’s health. Sometimes things happen that are out of everyone’s control, and feelings of anger, anxiety, or disappointment can arise. In these times, it can be helpful to identify what you are feeling and talk yourself through it. For me, it is easier to process heavy emotions when I acknowledge and validate my feelings. That inner conversation might look like this:

“Ok Sarah, you wanted to have a vaginal delivery. But your baby is in the breech position, and the safest thing for you and the baby is to have a cesarean delivery. That is disappointing, and it is ok to be disappointed. This is something that is out of my control. Let’s shift our focus on something I can control. I can control _____.”

When things feel out of control, shifting your focus to things that you can control is beneficial. For example, I may not be able to control how the contractions feel, but I can:

• Surround myself with people to support me
• Turn the lights to a more comforting level
• Listen to music that I enjoy
• Make the room a comfortable temperature
• Remind myself this is temporary

And those are just a few examples. There are a lot of little things that you can control to improve your experience.

Labor and birthing will be one of the most exciting events of your and your family’s life, and we cannot wait to support you! Thank you for choosing Infirmary Health.